Four Signs You Should Fire Your Coach (Before They Fire You)
- C C
- Jun 3
- 3 min read
Four Signs You Should Fire Your Coach (Before They Fire You)
Breaking up is hard to do – especially when you're paying someone hard earned money to tell you uncomfortable truths about yourself. But sometimes, even the best coaching relationships run their course, and sometimes... well, sometimes you just picked wrong.
Here are five signs it might be time to find a new coach, before you waste any more time pretending it’s working.
1. They're More Interested in Their Stories Than Yours
You know the type. You start sharing a challenge about managing your difficult team member, and suddenly you're getting a 15-minute monologue about their previous client who had a "similar" situation (that sounds nothing like yours) and how brilliant they were at solving it.
If your coach is treating your sessions like their personal storytelling hour, you're basically paying premium rates for someone's memoir. Netflix is cheaper.
2. You Leave Sessions Feeling Crushed
Coaching should challenge you, not crush your soul. Yes, good coaching involves discomfort – that's where growth happens. But there's a difference between productive discomfort and just feeling beaten down.
If you consistently leave sessions feeling deflated, criticised, or like you can't do anything right, that's not tough love – that's just tough. A skilled coach knows how to push you while still leaving you feeling capable and motivated.
3. They're Stuck in One Gear
Every challenge becomes about confidence. Or communication. Or time management. Whatever their favourite hammer is, every problem suddenly looks like a nail.
Good coaches have a variety of tools and approaches. They adapt their style to what you need in the moment. If your coach has one solution for every problem, they're probably not seeing you clearly – they're seeing their own expertise reflected back at them.
4. There's No Measurable Progress
This is the big one. After three months of coaching, you should be able to point to specific changes in your behaviour, thinking, or results. Not just "I feel more aware" – actual, concrete differences.
Maybe you're speaking up more in meetings. Maybe you're delegating more effectively. Maybe you've had that difficult conversation you've been avoiding. If you can't identify clear progress, either the coaching isn't working or you're not doing the work. Either way, it's time for a change.
The Hardest Truth: Sometimes It's You
Before you fire your coach, ask yourself: Are you showing up? Are you doing the work between sessions? Are you being honest about what's really going on?
Coaching only works if you're willing to be coached. If you're resistant, defensive, or just going through the motions, even the best coach can't help you.
How to Break Up Like a Professional
If you decide to move on, be direct and kind. "This isn't the right fit for me" is enough. Don't ghost them (they'll just assume you're avoiding accountability), and don't over-explain.
A good coach will respect your decision and maybe even help you think through what to look for next. A not-so-good coach will try to convince you that you're making a mistake.
Either way, you'll have your answer about whether you made the right choice.
Remember: the right coach for someone else might not be the right coach for you. And that's okay. Your development is too important to settle for "good enough."
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