Coaching vs Therapy: The Real Difference
- C C
- Jun 3
- 2 min read
Coaching vs Therapy: The Real Difference
For years, I avoided including coaching in my consulting practice because too many people with psychology degrees told me that coaches should only ask questions and let clients find their own answers. I understood the theory, but with thirty years of experience in my clients' world, I would feel like a fraud if all I was doing was asking questions.
When I finally enrolled in coaching training, my first question was: "Can I be a coach who asks questions, and shares ideas?"
Their response was unforgettable: "Well Karen, do you want to be a therapist or a coach?"
Cue the forehead slap.
That was 2014. I've figured out the answer since then, and I thought I'd share what I've learnt – and no, that doesn’t mean I answer with questions.
The Therapist: Archaeologist of Your Soul
Therapists are "emotional archaeologists" (credit to an actual therapist for that gem). They're carefully excavating layers of your past, dusting off childhood memories, and declaring, "Aha! So THAT'S why you struggle with authority!"
They want to explore your relationship with your mother, decode those recurring dreams about missing exams, and understand why you still feel guilty about moving away from home. Therapists focus on healing wounds, processing emotions, and uncovering the "why" behind your patterns.
Typical therapy session:
"Tell me about your childhood.
"You: Proceed to ugly cry for 45 minutes
The Coach: Your Professional Personal Trainer
Executive coaches are like personal trainers for your career goals. I never ask about my clients' relationships with their mothers - I ask about their relationships with their bosses and help them navigate those dynamics more effectively. I don't investigate why someone fears speaking up in meetings; I help them understand the benefits of contributing and find practical ways to make their voice heard.
Coaches are relentlessly future-focused. We're less concerned with healing your past and more interested in building your future.
Typical coaching session:
Coach: "What's your goal?
"You: "I want to get promoted.
"Coach: "Brilliant! Let's put that on your next one-to-one agenda.
"You: "Wait, what? It's that simple?"
Quick Guide: Which Do You Need?
"Why do I always do this?" → Therapist
"How do I stop doing this?" → Coach
Want to understand your patterns? → Therapist
Want to change your patterns? → Coach
Need healing? → Therapist
Need accountability? → Coach
Want to process feelings? → Therapist
Want to achieve goals? → Coach
The Plot Twist: You Can Have Both
Here's what nobody mentions: sometimes you need both, and that's completely normal. You might need therapy to work through imposter syndrome rooted in growing up with perfectionist parents, AND coaching to actually pursue that promotion you've been avoiding.
Think of it this way: therapy helps you understand why you're stuck; coaching helps you get unstuck.
The Bottom Line
Therapists help you make peace with your past. Coaches help you succeed in your future. Neither will judge you for having cereal for dinner (surely I'm not alone here?), but only your coach will ask what eating cereal for dinner reveals about your commitment to becoming a Michelin-starred chef.
Choose accordingly.
If you’d like to experience a free coaching session, book here:
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